I actually can't complain really with Ms. Coach now being my new boss. She has brought new meaning of working under pressure. Like huge pressure that you could see how my writings are becoming scattered or shattered (and whatever message I'm trying to convey). Pressure like deadline has new meaning. And still I'm blogging right now.
But I'm excited to see how far I could push myself this time.
Anyway, I'm blaming my work writings (those 10,000words of report, 100words in business emails), to the lacking of my creative writings. Like it has raped my imagination. I can't write one sentence without sounding vague. (As if I haven't always do so..)
Good thing, I'm glad I have better view now in the office, literally and figuratively. So me, as a middle-class working girl, I'll just suck it all in :) Happy working
friends
It was the 80s, the disco ball, the crazy colors and hoop earrings. My mother was my age living under the same roof with three other girls she called best friend knowing nothing for the future (including how her daughter would use her as an example of what friendship is for).
Coming from very different background, ethnicity, religion, they were installed together in a house with no parents supervision (they were younger than I am now). So becoming sisters are just like a second nature (all the fighting, the partying argh, I can only imagine from the picture they took).
Five of them are very different physically, one is tall, one is petite, one is athletic, one is stick skinny, one is curvy. Yet they compromise and create rules for sharing everything, including clothes. For the petite, buy jeans half size up, for the curvy, buy jeans half size down. Same rule goes for shoes. But never under garment, because bust is a bit hard to be compromised, or so they said. (And isn't it not hygienic hoho) But it was sort of the traveling pants of sisterhood or something.
Anyway, I used to envy my mother for her tight knit of friendship with my aunties (or my other mothers as they insisted), her best friend from the flight attending years. As a daughter it is easy to think that my life to fall into the same path as theirs, having my own set of friends and become as close as sisters.
Well I have accumulate few of my own along the way, eliminate those who apparently don't value friendship as it is and keep those who do. I hope I am being one, a good one.
Coming from very different background, ethnicity, religion, they were installed together in a house with no parents supervision (they were younger than I am now). So becoming sisters are just like a second nature (all the fighting, the partying argh, I can only imagine from the picture they took).
Five of them are very different physically, one is tall, one is petite, one is athletic, one is stick skinny, one is curvy. Yet they compromise and create rules for sharing everything, including clothes. For the petite, buy jeans half size up, for the curvy, buy jeans half size down. Same rule goes for shoes. But never under garment, because bust is a bit hard to be compromised, or so they said. (And isn't it not hygienic hoho) But it was sort of the traveling pants of sisterhood or something.
Anyway, I used to envy my mother for her tight knit of friendship with my aunties (or my other mothers as they insisted), her best friend from the flight attending years. As a daughter it is easy to think that my life to fall into the same path as theirs, having my own set of friends and become as close as sisters.
Well I have accumulate few of my own along the way, eliminate those who apparently don't value friendship as it is and keep those who do. I hope I am being one, a good one.
cubicle lies
in a small cubicle I pondered upon what life gives
aside from carry on bags, lots of booze, sleepless night
aside from greenish color of faces, dry hands and feet, hair sprayed hair
enough for me to want, not enough for me to need
oh need
if need is imminent I'll puffed one in here
fly my brain to the country where blue, red and lavender are the colors
swinging from one skyline to another, like that over rated
monkey boy and his territorial jungle
i embrace my cubicle
down there with the ants, up here with the eagles or nowhere with dragon miseries
spacious, breathes, malicious
tuck me into the silk cover so here come warm
let me endure
when too much of plotting is done~
Figure above is the positive correlation between my weight and Jakarta Composite IndexNow I'm just tired from plotting all different scenarios of possible correlation. Like how much stock will rise from the expectation of VP Boediono? How much stock will slump on the backdrop of Prez Mega? Just saying.
Enough politics for tonight. Back to Zie's weight and JCI index. Love the graph, but I think I need to take CFA test again and see how it is inversely related with my weight.
speaking word of faith
so, my ex-boss, Ms Coach (as her fave bag brand and her super-ability to coach/mentor me) decided to return to the Investment Banking market once again and she, surprise surprise, chose the IB House that I'm currently working in. I couldn't complain though, this is just like a April blessing for me because I adore Ms. Coach since forever. OK. I could continue gushing but it'll take another para to fill all in while I want to write about is a blessing in disguise.
in the afternoon after I'd received my pink slip (still easier to say than 'laid off'), Ms. S and I sat in the Pacific Place Coffee Bean, trying to cheer each other up. We sat on the compound of coach looking over to Jakarta Stock Exchange, the very place where we just got kicked out from. We laughed over some satirical joke, over the irony of the situation while trying to hide our shock and tears.
being ever two ambitious girls we discussed about what we are going to do next. well, I did plan to get off the country as soon as I could ditch the CFA test while Ms. S plan to work for Ms. Coach pro-bono (Ms. Coach has her own fund business, unfortunately it also collapsed following the global stock market meltdown), as long as she could stay in the business, that what she said. Although not long, we returned to the topic that clouded our head.
at that time, the very Bible verse that I remember was the one about how God has this grand plan and pieces are falling into its places just as how God want it to be. Then I had the urge to challenge my faith and tested God's statement on how faithful he is. So I said over and over, loudly to Ms. S, that I know this happens for something that I don't know yet but I just knew that the plan is going to be beautiful that when the time comes I'd be sharing the words of joy and gratefulness.
maybe the fact that Ms. Coach is back into the business and becoming my boss is one of the beautiful result that I thought back then (If I have to tell the story about how Ms. Coach was getting the job, you'd think that it is some sort of scenario that I had made up~) or maybe it is just one of the pieces that falling into places for me to get to the finish line.
Either way God, He has some decent sense of humour! He put in our heart an emergency button called faith, that during the times of no hope, we could turn it on and start believing that there are hopes although we couldn't see it with our physical eyes.
I'm learning, from the small thing such jobs, to bigger things like love. I'm still learning.
in the afternoon after I'd received my pink slip (still easier to say than 'laid off'), Ms. S and I sat in the Pacific Place Coffee Bean, trying to cheer each other up. We sat on the compound of coach looking over to Jakarta Stock Exchange, the very place where we just got kicked out from. We laughed over some satirical joke, over the irony of the situation while trying to hide our shock and tears.
being ever two ambitious girls we discussed about what we are going to do next. well, I did plan to get off the country as soon as I could ditch the CFA test while Ms. S plan to work for Ms. Coach pro-bono (Ms. Coach has her own fund business, unfortunately it also collapsed following the global stock market meltdown), as long as she could stay in the business, that what she said. Although not long, we returned to the topic that clouded our head.
at that time, the very Bible verse that I remember was the one about how God has this grand plan and pieces are falling into its places just as how God want it to be. Then I had the urge to challenge my faith and tested God's statement on how faithful he is. So I said over and over, loudly to Ms. S, that I know this happens for something that I don't know yet but I just knew that the plan is going to be beautiful that when the time comes I'd be sharing the words of joy and gratefulness.
maybe the fact that Ms. Coach is back into the business and becoming my boss is one of the beautiful result that I thought back then (If I have to tell the story about how Ms. Coach was getting the job, you'd think that it is some sort of scenario that I had made up~) or maybe it is just one of the pieces that falling into places for me to get to the finish line.
Either way God, He has some decent sense of humour! He put in our heart an emergency button called faith, that during the times of no hope, we could turn it on and start believing that there are hopes although we couldn't see it with our physical eyes.
I'm learning, from the small thing such jobs, to bigger things like love. I'm still learning.
plant a tree
the left corner side of my office table(OK, it was with the help of props :$)
I think I need to add to my 2009 resolution: to start planting a tree.
pushing Jessie
what if I never met you/would I ever learn.. to laugh endlessly?/to dare myself gambling my heart?/and to be.. vulnerable?/to feel that life is truly unfair for the unloved?/to know that only the luckiest who didn't see it coming, just like a supernova never schedule an appearance?/to experience what it's like to get back on my feet after falling, falling hard and failing?/...would I ever be passionately in love?/and in the same time rationally in love?
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