Showing posts with label serious stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serious stuff. Show all posts

economy or environment?

just a glimpse through '11th hour'; which I can't watch for long. I still can't stand movies/clips where there is people with possibility of cutting down trees.

I think this is what world need to answer; fast growing economy or environment sustainability.

Fast growing economy has been sacrificing environment. It is a fact, not opinion. Fast growing economy ie. China and previously US has been consuming the most energy that is coal in the world. It has contributed to the global warming but what.. does people in Africa suddenly lives better because the rate of growth in US or China?

Can world wait for a slower economy growth? Because as we face it, fast economy growth is not equal to distribution of wealth. So should we really focus on being the fastest? Do we really competing with another world.. out there?

"it takes another generation.."

since I have been off the blog for a while, let me return with some thoughtful message :))

I had a meeting two weeks ago with a very nice businessman and his son. He is currently undertaking a project which his company had won few years ago but it turned out not enough money (and expertise) he could offer to really jump-start the development. We were supposed to talk about this project then somehow the lunch turned into discussion on why is it so awfully hard to build this country.

He said the problem lies on two things: lack of trust and very short-term view on life. He assured us that it was neither the President nor the VP's who are at fault, but it is the system that require reform.

The lack of trust among the ministry department, I could gauge. Yet, it bothers me that people in power do not have the long-term view of this country development. For instance, they would prefer to get re-elected in their province by opposing development that in a short term will require certain sacrifice yet in the long term would benefit their children. It is rather sickening, because people are forgetting that with power comes great responsibility.

But then it dawn to me that bureaucracy will always be there. He said, "It will take another generation to change the way people think." Well, I guess OUR generation could take the bureaucracy reform, if we are making ourselves available. Sumpah Pemuda had proven us that younger generation has the idealism, the sense of urgency, the nationalism to drive a country into a better state.

So when the torch is being transferred, I hope we are ready to build this country into a greater one.
"Ask not what your country can do to you. Ask what you can do to your country." Kennedy

cubicle lies

in a small cubicle I pondered upon what life gives
aside from carry on bags, lots of booze, sleepless night
aside from greenish color of faces, dry hands and feet, hair sprayed hair
enough for me to want, not enough for me to need

oh need
if need is imminent I'll puffed one in here
fly my brain to the country where blue, red and lavender are the colors
swinging from one skyline to another, like that over rated
monkey boy and his territorial jungle

i embrace my cubicle
down there with the ants, up here with the eagles or nowhere with dragon miseries
spacious, breathes, malicious
tuck me into the silk cover so here come warm
let me endure

speaking word of faith

so, my ex-boss, Ms Coach (as her fave bag brand and her super-ability to coach/mentor me) decided to return to the Investment Banking market once again and she, surprise surprise, chose the IB House that I'm currently working in. I couldn't complain though, this is just like a April blessing for me because I adore Ms. Coach since forever. OK. I could continue gushing but it'll take another para to fill all in while I want to write about is a blessing in disguise.

in the afternoon after I'd received my pink slip (still easier to say than 'laid off'), Ms. S and I sat in the Pacific Place Coffee Bean, trying to cheer each other up. We sat on the compound of coach looking over to Jakarta Stock Exchange, the very place where we just got kicked out from. We laughed over some satirical joke, over the irony of the situation while trying to hide our shock and tears.

being ever two ambitious girls we discussed about what we are going to do next. well, I did plan to get off the country as soon as I could ditch the CFA test while Ms. S plan to work for Ms. Coach pro-bono (Ms. Coach has her own fund business, unfortunately it also collapsed following the global stock market meltdown), as long as she could stay in the business, that what she said. Although not long, we returned to the topic that clouded our head.

at that time, the very Bible verse that I remember was the one about how God has this grand plan and pieces are falling into its places just as how God want it to be. Then
I had the urge to challenge my faith and tested God's statement on how faithful he is. So I said over and over, loudly to Ms. S, that I know this happens for something that I don't know yet but I just knew that the plan is going to be beautiful that when the time comes I'd be sharing the words of joy and gratefulness.

maybe the fact that Ms. Coach is back into the business and becoming my boss is one of the beautiful result that I thought back then (If I have to tell the story about how Ms. Coach was getting the job, you'd think that it is some sort of scenario that I had made up~) or maybe it is just one of the pieces that falling into places for me to get to the finish line.

Either way God, He has some decent sense of humour! He put in our heart an emergency button called faith, that during the times of no hope, we could turn it on and start believing that there are hopes although we couldn't see it with our physical eyes.

I'm learning, from the small thing such jobs, to bigger things like love. I'm still learning.


plant a tree

the left corner side of my office table
(OK, it was with the help of props :$)

I think I need to add to my 2009 resolution: to start planting a tree.

For the love of the country

I was a mere rookie in my previous company and was only working for one full year when few analysts from the ASEAN team and I got a chance to go for a marketing trip in Singapore. I thought then, with my very positive mindset, how hard can it be to convince these people to invest in Indonesia’s “X” industry? It is such an investment heaven!

Right, I was so freaking naïve.

I realized after few meetings that Indonesia’s slot was set aside to the end of each meeting. When they were nice, they’d say, “We’re saving the best for last.” Even I couldn’t believe that. And sometime I could just sat there in the fancy meeting room listening at each country making their presentations until the time was up. Or if there was still enough time I have to rush through my presentation so they could have Q&A session. Thank you very much.

I got so self-conscious that I asked my senior what I had done wrong. Did I look too nervous, too young, too inexperience? (Well, I did back then so he said so).

My senior was a 40s Singaporean uncle who always take pleasure in having a cigarette break in between our meetings. “But here's the fact, no body really knows Indonesia, especially these young fund managers. The market is too small for them to care. They just don't have enough information to make something out of it. Granted, they are more positive than their seniors who were in the industry during 1997/98 crisis. But their view on Indonesia is guarded by the foreign media who is not particularly fond of your country, dear. So it is your job to teach them.” He smiled. Puff. Puff.

And this was early 2008, before recession really hit Asia.

Why such skepticism? Why does Indonesia is being punished so badly? Are we such an easy scapegoat? I kept asking.

Going into my third year in the industry, it is pretty clear how very negative foreigner could view Indonesia; particularly during hard time such this. Most are preventing themselves to invest in Indonesia with excuses that our Government has rotten systemic and regulation problem, which is undeniable true, and that was the main reason for them to drive away to a safer haven.

We couldn’t blame them though; many of them were screwed over by Indonesia’s unfailing bad corporate governance during the crisis 10 years ago. And just like a broken heart, you could always forgive, but never forget.

But if we jump into the skepticism boat as well, who'd defend this country? Well, it is not always rainbow and sweet things.
But could it be us that given away the impression that this country really not worth living? And if not us, who else could give a balance view about this country?

curious case of woman on top

Should a girl become ‘one of the boys’ to make it in today’s corporate world?

No matter how far the world has evolved (assuming this is no longer a dark age), reality is it is still damn tricky to be a female in a corporate world where predominantly it is run by the so-called boys club.

Main problem is gender bias does exist, no matter how you want to deny it. It creates so many other issues, including how: female is easily misjudge if acting outside the socially accepted female behavior while she is also expected to be more political and be more like the boys to get the top exec position.

Here’s one simple difference between girls and boys as an elementary student that create such a huge gap later on.

Boys are used to play team sport since they were little. They learned from such an early age on how to separate friends and allies in order to win the game. They could be an allies but not a friend outside the game, and vise versa. The cycle then repeated every time they played sport (which was often I believe), writing this in their DNA.

Girls on the other hand were brought up at the other end of the spectrum. We played nurturing games and were expected to be friend with everyone. Then if we don’t get along, we just stop playing together and find a new friends.

ONE of the reason why girls are less comfortable being involved in office politics is: because some of us prefer to be friends with people who we are getting along with and at the same time trying not to be considered the witch by people who we don't get along with. However, this ONE also lead to the result of why there is less female exec in the world.

I guess, if we, girls, really have the drive to play the game (liking Niko in Lipstick Jungle –the Book, not the Series), we could just.. have it ALL. Look at the example of Indo current top exec: Sri Mulyani a.ka the Iron Lady (see what I mean about gender bias?) our own Finance Minister and Coordinating Minister for Economy. Or the newly appointed Pertamina Director, Karen Agustiawan. If these ladies can do it, so do the rest of us, yes?

Well, just remember that success come with sacrifice and being brought up a nurturer it would be bigger sacrifice for women. But really, it is up to each individual preference on what to achieve in this world, no?

I found this interesting article few short tips for those who want to get to the top.

Oh, this stuff is so serious. *wink*

dance with the wolves

characteristic of the herd:

a predator
they are infuriating during rainy season (and the rest of the year, the next year, and the next decades)
they could duplicate within second (or so it seems)
their movement is limber
their pace is unpredictable
their steps are uncoordinated
they howl hard if you caught their tails
but easily slipped away when they caught yours

location: any streets, lane, pedestrian walk, bus way skywalker, anything that has soil on

comments: people, embrace it. You just have to LOVE to hate them and the millions other sold (only) last year in Indonesia soil

fulfil, like a piggy ^oo^

What it is like being content in your life? It is rare occasion for me in the past six months, but now I feel like I'm at peace with everything.

And it does occur to me that peace, contentment, happiness is not derived from material contentment. OF COURSE, the fact that I don't have to think (or making a fuss) about that is a crucial matter. But, most of ALL, peace, joy and contentment can not be bought.

In the past few moment, I couldn't stand still. It is as if someone put a light under my butt, making me restless. Unable to stay in one place. Like a lense, I was out of focus, thus the result was blurry. (I could be deep. HA!)

I hope I shouldn't return to that state anymore. I was bad, real bad. I acted carelessly, I gave bad advice *this is my biggest regret*, I was just like a kid running to lollipop dangled in a unsettling dog (or some sort). Whatever I want I have to get. It has given me the wrong competitive streak~ where I in the end isolated myself to dark.

I want to be good.

That's the only request I have for this year.

A good company

I spoke to one of my longest friend last night, D, the one who doesn't want to return to our home country :).

But that's not my topic, people. Let's get back to where I was trying to say.

I spent two years with her (two, always TWO years~ is that how my life will ever be? Chopped around in two years period?) as a deskmate in high school. I can't remember whether or not we fought (I guess we did, she could be very very very mooody haha and so am I). But I understand her and I guess she does as well.

Anyway, she message me yesterday regarding my hypothetical blog (not so imaginative, as it is out there) is what it called~ She found out about it when she googled herself ^hihi^ and message me rightaway.

We end up in MSN, chattering away about life. I told her about my love/hate relationship with the banking industry and how I hate failing CFA (which if I have to do it again, I'll loose another 2 pounds). I told her how I love writing and I just want to runaway with my writing.

Unlike my other friends who were telling me to pursue my dream, she told me that preserverence is the lesson she learned.

I laughed to oblivious because she is the smartest girl I've ever known, with discipline and passion. No way she'd ever failed.

She sneered and told me that she did failed. She failed a test going for graduate school. Four times. But she preservere and now she's on her way to graduate school. Then,
she told me that in down the road I could still pursue my dream and enriched it with my own experience.

Now, I envied her for trying so hard. While here, I'm crumbling because of one failing test. I'm such a mushroom.

So thank you so much, D. I just couldn't potray how much you have supported me and get me back in line for my own race. I miss you and I hope you just change your mind and move back home.

Noodle to my broth *not

I need to vent.

If I stop and hold you back

Would you change?
If I sacrifice my heart
Would you change?
Because my love is not unconditional
And what's done is done

Oh, brother~ ^^

the intangible good characters

Well – today theme (well, it is more yesterday though) was unanswered question.

It started two days ago when a data request get me to review an annual report of a company we learn to love (thanks to some fashionably zexy brand). I stopped in the biography pages and scoured some pretty famous names. Many were born in 1940s, went to school in 1960s and have their first job in 1970s.

For a brief nanosecond moment I thought, ‘Will I ever got earn this sort of success?’ – you know, the sort that people will read your bio annually in a glossy pages of your company report.

Soon, it follow by, ‘If I finally moved on from the corporate life, would people still remember me after a while?’

Not to jumping around with mind, I realize that this is my first real job (and yes, we don’t count working in the kitchen as real job, do we?). Job which I was really blessed to have, which I decently enjoyed (depend on where you’re looking, really) and I won’t deny that the job is pretty cool.

I love being in the middle of all of ‘relationships’ (prefer this than network). I love meeting new people and finding out who they really are. I like the frustrating beginning when the new people were sneering and how it is going to evolve to something warmer. However, the questions are rushing in -

Would be an important people, really that ‘important’ in life? Does being an important person/woman is something that 20-30s years really aspire to be? Has the ‘reality tv’ made our generation make sure everyone knows about the success? Has the more intangible good characters long gone? Does being a staying home mother become failure?

Pressures are here; but only when we let them to be.

feeling nationalistic

OK- weekend and all I could ponder upon is the disturbing conversation I had during the Independence Day with an Aussie co-worker! Oh well.

We were in the car back from any one of the meeting when the sudden interest of our conversation was Independence Day activities (it was around the time). I did my best - trust me- in explaining what we usually do during the day. I guess if you are going to any school during the 1960-90s you'd remember something along the line with panjat pinang, tarik tambang, makan kerupuk etc (I'll translate if I have time). And this is after an hour long ceremony under the early morning sun.

It was interesting that he (he's circa 30 years of age) said that the spirit of celebration is no longer within the young in Aussie (meaning it includes him and probably his parent). He suggests similar activities to the State's 4th of July event, yet Australia style. Picking up beers, doing barbie (BBQ for those in other english speaking country) and obviously no ceremonial stuff.

We had put some thought on it - well, we are analysts anyway - and I came into conclusion that while Indonesia had good 62 years of hard-earned Independence, the Australia National Day is the day when the people commemorating the establishment of the first British settlement on the continent of Australia (26 Jan/Wikipedia). So- it's quite different from Indonesia 350 years + 3.5 years of colonization where people are become more desperate for Independence.

It's getting pity though, as I ponder further that the older generation who lived during the war are now depleting in number. It is the generation of my grand father who fought in Java deep villages against Dutch. It is the generation of my grand mother who nurses for these fighters. Our parents may be the one face the beginning of freedom, yet the days they were raised were not the most stable days with most of revolution etc.

While us - we were born with the prevelage of freedom. We get the luxury of not having to fight to be number one resident in own country. The luxury to dream as high because we can and no other people can say otherwise. I just wonder when will the generation will stop appreciate all this because guess what, they will no longer meet people who fight for their freedom.

I'm truly grateful I got to know my grand parents generation who tell the most amusing stories. They are part of the history (and I'm not a fan of the subject) and I respect them for pursuing freedom their descendant should appreciate. Will my grandchildren celebrate Independence with beers and barbie?

I pray they won't.