--i kindly need you back

just not right 

my head and all these vocabularies

i simply have forgotten how to write, composing sentences 

worse still, 

my head has been stopping from wandering in the land of daydreaming, 

one that creating stories out of wisp 

busy. huff. 

my heart keep longing

reaching down

risking idealism

where are you straying minds?

i kindly need you back

naive

we are as different as heaven to earth
light to dark
man to woman
hello to goodbye
yet we are here together. surpassing the impossible
embracing each other, embrace


we have changed
but remain the same;
as if time never passed 
(we are) children with eyes wide

sure

Stay, so we can have the life we've always wanted

     wait.. 

for a moment and see things unravel 

and linger, it's true, we could live from the faintest swift of your fragrance 

I love us together... never- ever - ever I've been so sure

Ola 2010: what have we learned?

First blog posts in 2010!!!

My stupid and lazy ass have been denying blog entry. So far life has been beaten to death with amount of works and I have no time to 'think' about my life that every decision has been made with impulse.

Where am I getting at? Oh. So to jump start 2010, I plan to add some regular feature in the blog. Regular so my uncreative mind has it own outlet. Feature that is '[insert numbers] importantly ELEGANT things I learn from [insert movie name]'.

One thing I learned so far in the first almost three weeks of 2010 is that I never fail to watch a new movie. So, if other girls buy shoes every two weeks and showcasing it in her blog, I'll do movies.

Anyway, I was thinking of writing down 20 things I learned from a movie and 10 things I wish the director would change. But I think it's a bit too ambitious even for me. So that's the long term plan.

Last weekend alone I watched a couple of movies (all crappy one, mind you): Sorority Rows and Spy Next Door. So drum drum drum, I'll do 5 things I learned from each of the movies as my FIRST EVER blog posts in 2010. Enjoy.

Five importantly elegant things I learn from Sorority Row:

1. When you pretend to die to pull a prank on a boy ALWAYS wear bullet proof jacket. Yes, under you lingerie even. You'd never know what that guy may be able to do.
2. MOST ELEGANT: When holding a champagne glass in one hand and unable to clap for your President/Best Friend's speech, you snap your fingers to make a sound instead
3. Upon receiving an ugly silver bracelet (that resembling the wallet chain), use it because it could save your life. Considering you'll be holding on to a piece of wood with that bracelet few hours later
4. Reverse bro's before ho's: When your boyfriend is the psycho that kills off your best friends. KILL HIM. FAST
5. Always and always and always: the killer is always the geek who typically receives summa cum laude or being the valedictorian. And always check on your boyfriend parents, if he's a senator of some kind, he could also be a psycho.

Now, back to Jackie Chan recent movies which has received 0% Rotten Tomato's rating. It's a bit hard to find elegant things to learn from this movie aside from the typical 'learn martial arts!'. But I'll try:

Five important things I learn from The Spy Next Door:

1. If your three month-old boyfriend (without string) is a geek, it is OK to leave your under-age kids with him while you are out of town to visit your sick parents. But he has to be a geek that sell pen. (Isn't it even more creepy written down?)
   
2. One spoonful of sugar could make a four years old act like energizing bunny. Well, to be honest, I know this one but my boyfriend doesn't. After I told him, he thought of giving me one. Silly.
   
3. Teach yourself Mandarin songs as it could help sugar-high kids to go to sleep
4. While boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Even after delivering two children and nurturing three children, you could always sulk like teenager. That. Or Amber Valleta just had very bad script
5. MOST ELEGANT: always wake up with a smile. Even if you are a single mother with nothing to do except painting all day. Even if your youngest run to your bedroom in the morning chasing a pig. Even if your middle son is a liar. Even if your step daughter, the oldest of them all, is rude and call you name. Always SMILE. And I'm not being sarcastic.

So let's embrace 2010!!

early resolution plan (1)

Next year I'll turn quarter a century, which is huge, I guess. Meanwhile accomplishment so far is so so great. career seems on track. relationship, a bit questionable.

As usual at this time of the year I'm compiling my resolution(s) for the following year and I realise I have discipline lacking life which is sad. Instance: my blog which I plan to have 120 entries only has 60 entries in 2009. (Glass half full, glass half empty)

Anyhoo, I'm planning a LOT of things in 2010, serious things like, better budgeting, improving my public speaking skill, investing plan, read Bible, relationship and when will I get married (if I ever).. and escapism things like this blog, my old project with DN, reading the books that I haven't read, meeting new people, burning calories etc. I'll come up with target because wise men said that without proper vision your mission has already failed before you even started (is this even a quote? haha)

But always, always dream big. It doesn't matter how many we have in our hand now, what matter is the limit we set for our dreams.

2009

So here is 2009 in pictures. New places, new adventures, old friends-new friends and lotsa love. Enjoy.

economy or environment?

just a glimpse through '11th hour'; which I can't watch for long. I still can't stand movies/clips where there is people with possibility of cutting down trees.

I think this is what world need to answer; fast growing economy or environment sustainability.

Fast growing economy has been sacrificing environment. It is a fact, not opinion. Fast growing economy ie. China and previously US has been consuming the most energy that is coal in the world. It has contributed to the global warming but what.. does people in Africa suddenly lives better because the rate of growth in US or China?

Can world wait for a slower economy growth? Because as we face it, fast economy growth is not equal to distribution of wealth. So should we really focus on being the fastest? Do we really competing with another world.. out there?

I'm going to miss you forever

Dear Oma,

It is much more quiet down here without you. Not saying that you used talk a lot, but life seems like a little bit emptier. Like something is just not there.

Like every time I'm coming home from work and you wait there, on the couch, part asleep part watching sinetron. Oh, I'm going to miss your smile! The one that kept me from going into my room and change. Just another sentence, just another conversation.

Not only the small things, but also the big things.. Like your prayers for my birthday? I feel soooo special. Like I'm your only grandchild :) Then you'll hand me an envelope with some money and a written letter. I bet if you have the luxury of time, you were going to be a writer. With that beautiful hand writing, I don't think you'll ever need a blog to write your novel.

Now I live without regrets not making you happy Oma. Seeing how you got up from bed, even after not wanting to have dinner, but because the ICE CREAM I brought! Oma I guess, God has better things than ice cream up there. So I have to give away all my Baskin and Robbins voucher now you're gone.

I will always love you, Oma. You know what, I used to be very scared of losing you when I was five or six. I'd kept all your gift and took it to bed with me. Looking at it at night (melancholy start early, yes?) and thinking how long do I have the time to spend with you. Well, I couldn't lie, until end of high school I was really afraid that you'll leave when I'm not with you. That's my main reason for going to 7-hour flight to Australia instead of 24-hour flight to Holland although I have already learned Dutch, remember? Anyway, I grew up knowing you enough and part of you will always live within me. Assurance of your love is probably the closest thing in my life to what Jesus has for all of us.

You might have left us, but I know you'll always live in us through your love and your faith. The greatest thing that you ever passed on to us is that you find your strength and trust in Jesus. More valuable than gold. I'm so thankful you were my Oma.

I'll be seeing you in due time. We love you.

Hugs and kisses,
your only granddaughter

"it takes another generation.."

since I have been off the blog for a while, let me return with some thoughtful message :))

I had a meeting two weeks ago with a very nice businessman and his son. He is currently undertaking a project which his company had won few years ago but it turned out not enough money (and expertise) he could offer to really jump-start the development. We were supposed to talk about this project then somehow the lunch turned into discussion on why is it so awfully hard to build this country.

He said the problem lies on two things: lack of trust and very short-term view on life. He assured us that it was neither the President nor the VP's who are at fault, but it is the system that require reform.

The lack of trust among the ministry department, I could gauge. Yet, it bothers me that people in power do not have the long-term view of this country development. For instance, they would prefer to get re-elected in their province by opposing development that in a short term will require certain sacrifice yet in the long term would benefit their children. It is rather sickening, because people are forgetting that with power comes great responsibility.

But then it dawn to me that bureaucracy will always be there. He said, "It will take another generation to change the way people think." Well, I guess OUR generation could take the bureaucracy reform, if we are making ourselves available. Sumpah Pemuda had proven us that younger generation has the idealism, the sense of urgency, the nationalism to drive a country into a better state.

So when the torch is being transferred, I hope we are ready to build this country into a greater one.

"Ask not what your country can do to you. Ask what you can do to your country." Kennedy