I'm going to miss you forever

Dear Oma,

It is much more quiet down here without you. Not saying that you used talk a lot, but life seems like a little bit emptier. Like something is just not there.

Like every time I'm coming home from work and you wait there, on the couch, part asleep part watching sinetron. Oh, I'm going to miss your smile! The one that kept me from going into my room and change. Just another sentence, just another conversation.

Not only the small things, but also the big things.. Like your prayers for my birthday? I feel soooo special. Like I'm your only grandchild :) Then you'll hand me an envelope with some money and a written letter. I bet if you have the luxury of time, you were going to be a writer. With that beautiful hand writing, I don't think you'll ever need a blog to write your novel.

Now I live without regrets not making you happy Oma. Seeing how you got up from bed, even after not wanting to have dinner, but because the ICE CREAM I brought! Oma I guess, God has better things than ice cream up there. So I have to give away all my Baskin and Robbins voucher now you're gone.

I will always love you, Oma. You know what, I used to be very scared of losing you when I was five or six. I'd kept all your gift and took it to bed with me. Looking at it at night (melancholy start early, yes?) and thinking how long do I have the time to spend with you. Well, I couldn't lie, until end of high school I was really afraid that you'll leave when I'm not with you. That's my main reason for going to 7-hour flight to Australia instead of 24-hour flight to Holland although I have already learned Dutch, remember? Anyway, I grew up knowing you enough and part of you will always live within me. Assurance of your love is probably the closest thing in my life to what Jesus has for all of us.

You might have left us, but I know you'll always live in us through your love and your faith. The greatest thing that you ever passed on to us is that you find your strength and trust in Jesus. More valuable than gold. I'm so thankful you were my Oma.

I'll be seeing you in due time. We love you.

Hugs and kisses,
your only granddaughter